I like a boy <3
I like a boy <3
I need to learn to believe and not doubt.
Has it really been 3 months since I’ve last posted?
Anyways, sorry for not updating on much lately. I’ve been having random spouts of ADD and being distracted with other stuff. My trip to SF/SC was fun. Got to see SF for the first time and eat a crap load of good food. Having a chef for a dad makes everything food oriented. And of course I got to visit Hoesy! I really love your place a lot! It was good seeing your face :)
Work has been the same. I trained a few new people but then they ended up quitting. It seems my coworkers seem to talk to me way more. One even wanted to exchange music. Usually they just say, “Hey! How are you?” and that’s about it. I think they just realized that I’m not quitting any time soon.
It seems I’ll be going back home in a week for my sister’s graduation. Hopefully I’ll be able to see you guys at least once during that short span that I’ll be there.
Love you loads,
I regret not updating until now, especially seeing all the wonderful things you all have been saying, but like Maria, I’ve just been crazy focused on getting stuff done.
It feels like its senior year of high school again, where I was on a mission to set up crazy goals and meet them, except this time everything is going right. As you all know by now, I finally got into Santa Cruz. I’m beyond happy and excited, but I think this is the first time in my life I find myself afraid of change. I’ve made so many really close bonds in SoCal, if feels so strange to leave it all beyond. But I’m going to take the strength of that fear and use it as a motivation to visit often and take advantage of LA when I am down here again. My 21st birthday was ridiculous, threw a party, got kicked out of a hotel. I did the Student Research Symposium again this year, and this time I won first place. Good come back. And I’m sure you all have heard me bitching about XXI Forever, well I finally got a new job. Not ideal, still retail, but I start at H&M next week for a much higher pay and part time benefits for the summer to save for SC. Also really exciting, do you guys remember Carla from Carson High? We’ve decided to room together at the new Porter Transfer Community. So Jose, I can dish out to you how drastically it’s changed.
It’s crazy to see the results of all my goals finally reflect the work I felt I put into them. Really gives me the courage to set higher goals and standards that really reflect the person I want to be. Love you all, and I think the places we are in are strange and complex but so, so beautiful.
<3 Your newest Banana Slug
inducers of anxiety
the bane of my existence
at present pass into fantasies realized
I have longed for so
new conflicts arise
SO MUCH GOING ON IN SUCH A SHORT PERIOD OF TIME. I feel like I’m going insane, but things are resolving themselves. Life is beautifully tragic… So it goes, I guess. I cannot wait til we have the opportunity to hang out. ALL OF US. We have lots of catching up to do. Love you ladies.
p.s. Maria, sorry for not calling you back. We’ll talk about it another time, I am okay so don’t worry.
Catching them at the Troubador forsure.
I feel hypnotized, most times I forget how I get through the day. I don’t know how I’ve kept going on for so long with this robot fucking routine. Work litteraly sucks the life out of me, though I keep going because I still have dreams and I’m closer everyday. At least thats the thought that keeps me going. I’ve been trying to organize certain thoughts, since i’ve ignored them as long as I possibly could. It’s left me feeling raw, wanting to be alone so forgive me for being distant. I’m working on myself both short term and long term, revisiting what my true goals are in life. I feel strionger than I’ve ever been, and soon i’ll be headed in the direction I need.
Love you guys,
The workload for this month seems like it will be pretty heavy. I wrote down deadlines for my assignments and what I need to get done by the end of each week and it seems the Ides of March will be a brutal week for me. I expect to be drinking a lot of coffee that week.
As for work, it’s fine. They just had me train a girl to be a stocker even though I’ve only been there for a month. And for tonight and Thursday night, they’re training me to be a DR. I’m not entirely sure what they do but I’m sure they set up tables. I’m a little bit nervous because we all know that I’m not exactly strong or graceful. I just hope I don’t eat shit while I’m carrying a tray of glasses to the tables.
Oh and I’ll be trying to go up to SF / SC for spring break (April 15th-24th). I’m thinking of flying up there on the 15th or 17th and staying until the 21st or 22nd. It really depends if I can get those days off. I’ll try and send in a request tomorrow. I’ll also be in Cypress March 25th-27th for a baby shower. I might not be able to hang on the 26th. It really depends when the baby shower is done. Maybe I can at night? I dunno but I’ll just keep you guys posted.
Hope to see you guys soon!
P.S.-Lykke Li’s new cd is really good! And I have pictures of my wire sculpture in the “?” album on facebook. Love you guys!
it’s a funny feeling how i still feel alone even though Im surrounded by wonderful people in my life. well maybe it’s the people im hanging out with who are not spreading thee love enough. Lol. I know im sounding all emo and shit but I always need pppl around me cuz i go crazy just being alone. plus living in this house doesnt make it any better. my housemate Liz is the only chill one, shes pretty dope. :)
ugh I just want the quarter to be over so I can be home again. I miss LA <333
I got 100% on my psych exam, very proud of myself. So far I have 100% in that class gotta keep it up! my next exam is next thurs. Hope you like this track, tis fun.
Decisions. They’re important. Think long and hard, you’ve got a while… but you already know what I think. Glad to hear all is well. School is getting tougher every quarter. But Europe this summer to treat myself. Hope it’s worth it.
Everything seems to be going really good. My 3d design teacher is really cool. She’s a tiny Japanese woman who has a slight accent. I’m pretty excited for the projects. Right now I’m working on a wire sculpture of my mini top hat with the feathers and netted bow. It’s looking alright for now. I’ve only completed the hat part. I’ve been going back and forth between the feathers, bow, and lace. Other than that, my classes seem to be going smoothly. I’ve been sort of struggling (meaning my drawings aren’t as good as I want them to be) in drawing. Mainly because I’m a bit rusty and also I’m not use to finishing a project in 2 class periods.
Oh and work is going well also! Everyone is super friendly and nice. Everyone says I’ve been doing pretty good so far. It’s not that hard of a job. You just have to work fast on busy nights. My responsibilities include polishing dishes/utensil/glasses, making sets, and edamame. Hopefully I’ll be able to keep up with work and school.
Also, I’ve been thinking about the whole moving up north thing…my mind seems to be going back and forth…I really need to think this through a little bit more…
Almost done, it’s been a long week. Cannot wait for it to be over. It’s my last midterm in an hour and 45 minutes. I just want to sleep. I rocked my other tests, just need to get this one done. The fire is dying.
So, Little Miss Twiggy gave me the scoop on this little Tumblr thing. It’s pretty cool :)
It’s me, Ramon, if you didn’t already know or whatever. You’ll have to excuse me if I seem a bit off. I’m a bit buzzed and running off of 3 hours of sleep. It’s cool to read some of these posts because I haven’t seen or heard from most of you guys in forever! I miss all of y’all.
I quick little run down of what’s going on with me at the moment: I’m finally working. I’m working mornings at Victoria’s Secret, doing the stock processing for merchandise and crap, but I’m looking to move to being a cashier soon. I wanna help ladies with their boobies. Haha. Also, I’m dating a guy named James. He’s 28, half Black and half Filipino. He’s really chill. Jose and Mai have met him already. I’m living with him and his mom right now while I look for a place where I can have my own room. I can’t wait to move so I can have some more privacy and alone time. It’s too soon for us to be living together and it’s starting to wear on me. It’s all good though. It’ll all be fixed in no time.
I also hope to make a trip up to Carson on my own so I can see some of you guys and reconnect. Also, I hope to make a trip up to SF too. I need a break and change of scenery for a bit.
Hope all of you guys are doing well. Also, thank you for letting me in on this. :]
So far my teachers for 3 of my classes seem pretty cool. My art history and English class will be a lot of work but it’s nothing that I can’t handle. I think the only issue with those classes will be the essays. Not so much art history but English will be definitely an issue. Especially the last paper. My drawing teacher is really chill and laid back. She kind of talks like a stoner valley girl which makes me laugh a little inside. I still have yet to meet my 3d design teacher. I hope he or she is also cool. I’m kind of looking forward to the projects we’ll be doing. I heard that we’ll be doing some wire sculptures. Maybe this will open the door to something I could be even better at. I do love building sculptural type stuff or at least the idea of it (I want to try something beyond the normal boxes I occasionally make). As for the campus, it’s alright. Completely different than state. People and environment wise. Don’t see a lot of clones there. The campus is really small compared to state but it’s alright. I feel like it’s a lot more scenic? The location kind of remind me of Hawaii. It’s just missing the humidity.
Oh and I also now have a job at Roy’s in La Jolla. I have orientation on Saturday and training shifts on Sunday and Tuesday. It’s nothing glamorous. I’ll be basically polishing dishes and setting up trays of dishes for the serving assistants so they could set up the tables during service. I’ll be working four shifts max since I’m only doing part time. Even though it’s not exactly a dream job, it does pay. And besides, there is always a possibility of moving up to a better position. I kind of feel a lot of pressure because my dad is part of the company. Hopefully I will be able to keep up with the pace. My dad and Uncle Percy said I have to work fast which kind of worries me. I just hope I don’t break anything my first week.
Hope you rudos are doing well!
Hearts & Stars,
P.S. - Someone new will also be joining in soon… :)